#FreeAdviceFriday

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Hey everybody, Francesca here. Today I want to talk about online dating. I know that a lot of you are very resistant to the thought of going online or maybe you’ve been online before and it was disastrous, or maybe not disastrous but you just didn’t meet anyone and you just didn’t enjoy the experience of it.

 I get it, online dating can be really tough and it has a lot of downsides, absolutely. But if you think about online dating as a virtual warehouse that has millions and millions of single people who are all saying, “I want to meet somebody. I want to meet somebody for various purposes.” Some people want to meet someone for a night, some people want to meet someone for the rest of their lives, but it’s so many people that it’s a really hard resource to ignore if you’re serious about finding love.

 Just a really quick, some best practices if you’re going to go online. Make sure that you’re putting your best foot forward, don’t half-ass it. I see this all the time, people are going, “Okay, fine, I’ll go online,” and then they through out this half-ass profile with terrible photos and then they wonder why they’re not successful.

 Don’t half-ass it. If you’re going to go for it, go for it. Really put your best foot forward, make use of your time, make use of the money that you’re spending, and really go into it with the intention that you’re going to connect with somebody in a genuine way and that you’re going to give it the attention and the time that it deserves.

Another thing that I really encourage you to do is not to be passive. You’ve got a great profile, you’ve got great photos, don’t just sit back and wait for people to reach out to you because you’re going to get a lot of people who are going to be exactly the opposite of what you’re looking for. That is just the nature of dating online, there is no getting around it. You can say in your profile, “I only want to meet X, Y, and Z,” and you will get emails from A, B, and C’s all day, that’s just the way it goes.

So you have to accept that about it and know that if you’re going to be successful online, one of the ways that you’re going to guarantee your success is to be proactive, to search for the people that you’re interested in, the profiles that reach out to you and to connect with those people in a really genuine way and say “Hey, I see that you love burgers, me, too. Have you been to this new place that just opened up?” Whatever it is, but just find a way to really genuinely connect with people, but do it proactively.

 The last part of it is to really embrace the fact that you can’t know everything about a person based on their profile and so don’t even try. I see this all the time, people are making so many assumptions about someone and it’s like, yeah, you know what? Maybe that guy has a cat and you hate cats, but if you met him out in the world and he was otherwise amazing, by the time you found out he had a cat, you would be willing to deal with it, because you’d already like him.

Online dating can give you a false sense of knowing people, but just know that you can’t really know someone until you meet them in person.

That’s the goal, you’re connecting online and you’re dating in the real world, so make that happen sooner rather than later and be open to the fact that people can really surprise you in a good way.

Good luck, happy dating, thanks for watching and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye!