Merry Happy Everything!
We are just days away from 2019 – it’s such a cliché to go on about time flying – but seriously – it’s unbelievable how quickly 2018 went.
The timewarp speed of 2018 is a great reminder of how precious every day truly is. One of the reasons I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions (beside them not working) is that they play into the fallacy of some “future you” while ignoring the truth that every day is actually your brand new year.
Next Tuesday will dawn as January 1st, and you’ll still be you. What comes of the real “future you” is decided by the choices you make everyday – starting today.
There are only a few days left in 2018, but every one of those days is a chance for something extraordinary to happen. Here are 3 things you can do right now to prepare yourself for love in 2019.
In my single days, New Year’s Eve was by far the hardest holiday of the year for me, emotionally speaking. I never cared about Valentine’s Day half as much as I cared about NYE. (I blame When Harry Met Sally for this!)
Luckily, years ago I took advice from two sages – my friend Rick and my friend in my head, Oprah. Rick shared with me his practice of writing down a list of all his accomplishments, big or small, for the past year right before New Year’s. Oprah recommends keeping a daily gratitude journal, something I’ve done for years and highly recommend. (Thanks, friend!)
Which leads me to my advice for you – write down at least 50 things you’ve experienced in 2018 you’re grateful for. It can be big things like the health of a loved one or a tremendous life lesson to small things like your new boots or discovering a new favorite coffee shop. The point is to shift your focus from what you feel is lacking to all of the glorious things you have right now. Nothing is a better reminder of the many more good things to come.
I can think of no better way to start a new year than with an attitude of gratitude and optimism!
How has this holiday season been for you emotionally? Have you felt lonely, or determined, frustrated or something else? Holiday blues are something that tons of people experience this time of year, and single-during-the-holiday-blues are an extremely common phenomenon – if you’re feeling them, you’re in great company.
The good news is – underneath all of those single-anxiety producing emotions is an extremely useful one – desire.
Desire is actually your superpower. Without desire, you wouldn’t do one single thing, including eating and generally staying alive. Your desire to not get fired, to not be a social outcast, and to have relationships with other people informs all of the decisions you make, from going to work when you’d rather jump on a plane to Belize, to wearing clothes deemed societally appropriate, to compromising with your best friend.
You might prefer to try to talk yourself out of feeling uncomfortable or painful emotions around the holidays. Or you just grit your teeth and bear it ’til January. A better solution is to allow yourself to feel your feelings and then use them to motivate you.
I feel so alone. I’m never going to meet anyone – I might as well give up on love.
That’s not a productive thought because it’s defeating. If you feel defeated before the finish line, you’re never going to take the steps you need to get there.
I feel so alone. I know in my heart my life will be richer with a partner and I’m going to remember that every time I feel like I might as well give up on love.
This thought is productive, because it’s empowering – it gives you the motivation to keep your heart open because your desire will continue to propel you forward towards love.
Lean in to your desire for a loving relationship. Write down your determined intention of attracting love into your life and keep it somewhere you can read it everyday.
Imagine you’re in one of those rom coms we grew up watching. In it, you have until midnight on New Year’s Eve to ask someone out on a date, or tell the guy you love him, or tell that person who won’t commit that you’re tired of mediocre and you’re moving on so you can find incredible. (I do love rom-com speak!)
Harry’s grand gesture was running through the streets of New York to find Sally to tell her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. What kind of grand gesture can you make towards your love goals?
What bold step have you resisted up until now?It could be as simple as signing up for a dating app, telling your friends you want to start dating, or cutting off a romantic entanglement that no longer serves you.
Don’t wait until 2019. New Year’s Day, is after all, simply a Tuesday. (Cliché alert!) Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Declare how you want to live it, starting now.
xo
Francesca
p.s. I’ve opened up my calendar the last few days of 2018 for additional free dating strategy sessions – click HERE to reserve your spot now!