August 7, 2015

How Much Do Looks Really Matter?


Hi everybody. One question that I hear all the time is how much do my looks really matter in dating? A lot of the people I talk to maybe aren’t so happy with how they look or maybe not with their bodies, they’re not at the weight they want to be or whatever the case may be.

My answer to that question is a question. That question is: How much do looks matter to you? As much as they matter to you, that’s how much they’re going to matter in your dating experience.

What I mean by that is if you’re feeling very insecure about the way that you look, then you’re not going to be confident and confidence is the most attractive quality in another person. I think we can all find examples of people who maybe are not our personal ideal of physical beauty, but they’re really confident and they don’t have any trouble attracting people to them who are drawn to that confidence.

If your looks matter a lot to you and you’re not feeling good about your looks, then yeah, it is going to impact your experience dating.

The other thing is, the more harshly you judge yourself, that’s usually an indication of how harshly you judge other people. If you are very superficial and you really want people who only look a certain way and you’re very critical of other people’s looks, then that is going to come back and people are going to criticize you and be judgmental of your looks in that same way. It’s just the way that it works.

If you’re not loving the way that you look, I encourage you to start loving the way that you look. I know that for myself, I made a decision years ago that since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’m just going to decide that I am my own standard of beauty.

That might sound really egotistical, but trust me, it is not. It’s just a matter of how I got to a place of being confident and comfortable with the way that I looked, because we all have issues with how we look, but this is the hand that we were dealt. [Laughs] If we don’t love the way that we look, then it’s a little hard for us to expect other people to.

That’s how much looks matter in dating. How much do they matter to you? Thanks for watching. Bye!