January 12, 2020

How To Actually Love Yourself

Hello Doll,

These are the two most common things people say about self love:

“You can’t love another person unless you love yourself first.”

(Sure you can. It might be dysfunctional, but it’s still love!) 


“Just love yourself!”

(Wow, that is not helpful. How exactly?) 

I always hated when people say these self-love platitudes, because they don’t come with explanations or instructions. I’m a coach, so my focus is on action. And let’s not forget – LOVE IS A VERB. Love is action. 

That’s why I came up with The Self Love Formula™ – a 5 step framework you can use to grow deeper in your self love. Here are the basics. 

Self love (as I define it), consists of 5 elements:

Self Compassion – Ability to give yourself a freaking break already. 
Self Worth – Conscious and subconscious belief in your worthiness of receiving your heart’s desires.
Self Validation – Ability to give yourself credit where credit is due.
Self Care – Actions taken to preserve your mental well being (e.g. setting healthy boundaries).
Self Gratitude – Ability to be grateful for the person you get to be on this planet!

The more you take action to deepen these elements within yourself, the more you fall in love with you. Treat yourself with love and your feelings will catch up. 

Which is what you deserve.