How to Actually Message Enough People That You’re Not Wasting Enough Time
Hello there! Welcome to Part 4!
If you missed parts 1-3, I highly recommend going back and reading those first.
And now… what I’m sharing with you today is SO critical. Some people get a great profile, and have a lot of optimism going into online dating, and then they fail miserably because they fail to do what I’m sharing with you today.
Did you know online dating response rates average about 10%? (Higher for women than men, overall.) Did you know that women who make the first move online are far more successful (and date more attractive men) than those who don’t?
Most women don’t send the first message, or if they do, they send it to the 5 best profiles (notice I said “best profiles” and not “best guys”) they see and then when they get little to no response, complain that online dating doesn’t work.
If you’re serious about meeting your person (which we’ve already established you are), you should proactively message a minimum of 10 people per week.
Ideally you would message 20. Yes, 20.
If you send 20 messages and you get 10 responses, you are KILLING it. (100% response rate is unheard of.) Say you’re one of the most popular people online and you get those 10 responses. As many as half of those will likely take themselves out of the running by saying or doing something dumb.
Of the hypothetical 5 remaining, at least 2 of them will wind up flaking out. That leaves maybe 3 people out of the 20 who you might actually go on a date with.
Pick a # between 10 and 20 and commit to messaging that many people for at least 4 weeks straight.
It’s really, really important to stick with your #. Not only are you increasing your likelihood of actually going on dates (more on what to say in your first message and how to get the communication IRL in the next couple of days), but you’re forcing yourself to look past the “shiny” profiles and dig a bit deeper to find enough people to message.
If you are like most people who date online, you overestimate your ability to determine in an instant whether or not someone is worth your time. Give yourself a chance to find your future boo, who could be hiding in plain sight!
That’s all for now! If you want to know what to say in that first message, stay tuned for Part 5!