September 26, 2019

Should Dating Be Easy? (Maybe Not)

Hello Doll,

It’s human nature to want things to be easy. But almost nothing worthwhile is. And when things come to us too easily, we don’t usually appreciate them very much. 

Take winning the lottery for example. It’s everyone’s favorite fantasy. Ask someone what they’d love to do professionally, or their dream vacation and you’ll often hear “Maybe one day when I win the lottery.”

The reality is Ñ most lottery winners eventually lose their winnings, and suffer higher rates of depression, divorce and suicide than the rest of us. 

Of course this isn’t a perfect analogy, but seeing the fruits of your labor is undeniably fulfilling. Moreso than the windfall we all hope for. 

Based on the 150+ clients I’ve worked with over the last 6 years, I believe that working on the qualities required for a healthy, loving relationship before you get into that relationship leads to deeper, more fulfilling love. 

How would your love journey transform if you adopted a growth mindset towards your dating challenges? Rather than seeing them as unfair or insurmountable, seeing them as an opportunity to grow and deepen your self awareness and confidence, take new actions, and prioritize your deepest needs? 

Maybe, just maybe, your dating journey shouldn’t be easy. Maybe if it pushes you hard enough, you become a version of yourself that can experience a deeper, more connected and lasting love than you ever would have had it been “easy.”

Just maybe the relationship of your dreams is simply waiting for you to grow enough to create it. And maybe considering this possibility is the first step in process of making that relationship happen sooner than you thought possible. 


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