October 19, 2022

The Vortex of Romantic Struggle, Part 1

Photo of a spiraling vortex


I was recently asked a fantastic question, one that plagued me personally for many years.

Why is it so hard for me to get into a relationship, when it’s so easy for others?

It is an undeniable fact that romantic relationships are far easier for some people than others. I used to be fascinated with, confused by, and envious of those people. In an effort to understand what’s causing your romantic struggle, you likely default to a version of:

There’s something wrong with me. 

But you intuitively know that’s not the real answer. After all, it’s not as if though everyone who has a happy relationship is superhuman or perfect. No one is. Despite what the marketers and advertisers have been telling you your entire life, there are no observable characteristics that determine “all people who are ________ or who have ________ have true love.”

Back when I was stuck in the V.O.R.S, something in me believed love was possible for me, but it took me years to understand the real answer to this painful question. It’s not easy to observe within yourself, because the culprit is happening on an energetic level. This can be difficult to grasp, because energy is not something you can observe with your eyes or touch with your hands. It might be invisible, but trust me–it is in full effect at all times, and the more you ignore it, the more of your energy is getting sucked into the vibration, or frequency, of what you DO NOT want.

This is what I call the Vortex of Romantic Struggle (V.O.R.S.) 

The V.O.R.S. is a powerful energetic forcefield that impacts your thoughts, your feelings, your very romantic identity. It dictates who you’re attracted to, who’s attracted to you (people who reinforce your particular struggle identity), and it gains strength and momentum with each “confirmation” you experience. When you’re in the V.O.R.S., love always feels elusive, difficult, or impossible. Romantic love does not and can not flow freely when your energy is being diverted through the V.O.R.S.

Simply getting into a relationship doesn’t free you from the V.O.R.S. You will only manifest romantic love that’s compatible with your romantic frequency. If your V.O.R.S. is strong, your dating efforts and any subsequent relationship will reflect that same struggle.

You can’t think or analyze yourself out of the V.O.R.S. The egoic mind LOVES to analyze, and it gets you nowhere. (You’ve probably noticed this…)

Escaping the V.O.R.S. is an inside job. There is no alternative. It exists inside you, and only you can dismantle it. Tomorrow I will share the 4 steps required to transcend the V.O.R.S., for good. Until then, here’s some heartwork for you:

With compassionate curiosity, notice how often your thoughts turn to judgment. Of yourself, of others, of circumstances… Don’t worry about trying to eliminate the judgment, simply observe it. Trust me, this is a powerful first step.

I am here to support you and to give you the tools needed to free yourself from the V.O.R.S. You absolutely can do it, and your entire love life will transform as a result.


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