The Surfer

What’s Your Dating Archetype? Quiz score 25-33

surfer card.png

Fictional Spirit Animals:

  • Sally from When Harry Met Sally

  • Everyone on Friends before they got married


Surfers are looking for love, and usually go where the “tide” takes them on their love journey. This means they experiment with different kinds of relationships with different kinds of people. Surfers might have a type, but it has more to do with a collection of specific character or personality traits than looks.

Surfers can sometimes get taken off track by giving too much of a chance to people with whom they have some fundamental incompatibility. Surfers are more intuitive and generally more easygoing about dating than the other archetypes. Because they are less intentional about dating, they get a mixed bag of results.

Dating Habits

Surfers have the most varied types of dating experiences compared to the other archetypes. Having said that, these are some commonalities:

  • taking a “dating hiatus” when you’re feeling burned out

  • ignoring red flags because “for now”, the relationship works

  • having fallen in love more often than most

  • reading dating books, being concerned with self-improvement

  • remaining friends with their exes

  • getting in to new relationships quickly

  • confidence in their ability to flirt and attract others

  • meeting potential partners without actively trying

  • tumultuous love lives – people can’t always keep track of whether or not you’re single

  • getting into new relationships while you’re still mourning the end of your last one

  • serial monogamy

Dating Psychology

The Surfer’s love life can run hot and cold. It’s not unusual for a Surfer to have a fun, passionate relationship one year and then have a series of dating fiascos the next. Surfers usually have a lot of dating and relationship experience. But no matter what their current relationship situation might be, Surfers are tenacious in their ability to continue to meet compatible partners.

None of this is to imply that Surfers are happy-go-lucky about dating at all times. You’re human, after all. And occasionally you have a romantic disappointment that can send you into a negative emotional space. These emotional low points can take a long time to recover from, so Surfers should be prepared to remind themselves that it’s all part of the journey. In the end, it’ll be worth it. You’ll see!

Getting Closer to Love

Surfing works for some people. But if you want to meet someone special and it’s not happened yet (or in a long time), you have the power to have the love you’re seeking.

Surfers would be wise to connect with their “why” – why they want to be in a relationship and what are the core values of their ideal partner and relationship. Surfers can be so open-minded and open-hearted that they don’t take the time to prioritize what is most important. This is why Surfers have such different outcomes – sometimes you “luck” into a great partnership and other times you discover your new partner isn’t the person you thought they were initially.

Some of your easygoing nature makes modern dating far easier to navigate, but adding some intentionality to your dating process will help you to find love much more quickly.

The Surfer Love-Attracting Mantra

It is safe for me to give and receive lasting love with a compatible partner.

Surfer Essential Reading

Ready To Go Deeper?


You’re closer than you realize to having all the tools you need to find true love, and quickly! Let me show you how – I invite you to book a complimentary Dating Strategy Session with me. Don’t delay – you deserve the love you desire!

Want to understand more about the Dating Mindset Archetypes, and do my Love Beliefs coaching exercise? READ MORE HERE.